Insecurity and Individuality

One of the most priceless and poignant EHM epis.. on a mother and son.. mentor and protege.. insecurities and guilt, individuality and attachment.. but alas the people on the forum lack the depth to even grasp the whole concept forget digest it..


 in short if I had to point to one scene that summed the epi for me.. it was Viren walking out the door banging into a Swamini, holding a gift in hand.. a half tear in her eye.. disappointed, upset.. the exchange there before the words filtered out was priceless..

oh well I may just be the only one who is fascinated by the Swamini-Viren attachment.. a foster parent who has imbibed the convictions and honed the persona of this young boy.. who by his own inherent psyche and under the mentoring of his beloved Badi Maa grew up to be the man he is.. responsible, dutiful, fair, loving and successful. A lot of expectations ride on him and he knows it.. but the biggest in his life is that of his mentor.. his karmic mother.. 

I remember pointing out during Js bday epi how Swamini had made a sarcastic comment on Viren's thoughtlessness.. wrt not keeping the family's concern and his own safety in mind in a bout of romantic delirium to see his wife happy.. even then I saw her insecurity.. it was legit..today she just voiced it.. she invested her whole life in the upbringing of this child who came to belong to her.. Viren had been feeling guilty even before she found out.. it was a circumstantial goof up on his part.. but one neverthless.. and it HURT her to face her worst fear.. the distance that was cropping up inadvertently.. she respected his space after marriage.. she took his side such tht he cld spend time with his wife.. he always remained her prime focus.. in her thoughts.. thats habit to her.. but to even think she didnt feature in his when it mattered.. in this case it wasnt his PRIVATE LIFE.. it was a family matter.. where he in normal case wld keep her in his inner circle..

On the other hand..  I loved Viren's need for individual space ... it wasnt about Jeevika.. it wasnt about Manvi or Virat.. it was about him and his badi maa.. the fear that he couldnt help but invoke in her.. he was just upset with himself.. and oh I relate to it... as individualistic as I am... it didnt come as a surprise tht he dint hear a word of Jeevika.. although she did try to reach out to him.. but their relationship isnt at a point yet.. where they can breach that personal space.. he did share his emotions.. but when it came to his own fear.. dejection.. it was just too personal for him.. one day Jeevika may be a part of it.. but its too early now.. coz all they have shared till now is attraction, affection and an inherent understanding.. but it still progressed to a point where individuality, psyche and convictions are clearly shared and understood

on those grounds it was even more understandable that Jeevika got scared that Buaji thought she was coming between.. Quoting Viren.. it wasnt about a 3rd person.. no 3rd person can make an attachment weaker.. its always the 2 involved.. and thats the person who bears the brunt.. during the Manan episode he said it.. no one can actually be a cause.. and its repeatable here..

Swamini is hurting. .and its only Viren who can heal her.. coz HE is the cause.. her fear that she may lose him.. in fact even worse to her HE may lose HIMSELF.. the boy who grew up to be the archetype.. her beloved.. the family's pride and dream for the future.. a mother's investment..

Very realistic.. Such is life.. Loved Viren and Swamini and the JV tangents in the middle.. 

P.S. also realized tht JV didnt even really find time to wish each other happy new yr in all this.. and what a crappy new year for them..