Still water runs deep- Jeevika's psyche

Felt like posting it here.. coz after ages I felt like I was writing post a MB epi.. in the evening.. melancholy surrounding me.. revisited some of those emotions.. 

it was everybody's guess that the ME lay on the shoulders of the girls - in a REVELATION and THE reaction ... the build up had been promising and tbh I was just as jittery and nervous coz it was KDs big day.. let me just start off with the denouement that she surpassed my expectations.. I am PROUD of her today .. but at the same time I would not be doing justice if I did not commend the team for the stand alone revelation scene if not any other in the epi.. The last time I had connected to a behna scene in how poignant and prosaic it was - was the chuda rasam and the KHNH song.. back then what had simply caught my fancy was the ability to emote through eyes.. and I silently took to observing KDs range.. sadly she did not get that kinda scope till today.. and SHE DELIVERED.. kudos.. 

so take this as a tribute post to a surreal aspect of Jeevika that came through today.. MULTIPLICITY and Melange  of emotions.. DANCING in the eyes.. sometimes overflowing.. but hitting every note if I may say.. in the complexity.. such that I am having to tribute a classic by Mirza Ghalib (sung by Jagjit Singh later) for Jeevika's moment ...

Hazaaron Khwahishein aisi.. ki har khwahish pe dum nikle

bahut nikle mere armaan.. magar phir bhi kam nikle.. 

she had been fiddling with her angst.. her fear.. that found its climax as she stared at the revelation that every family member knew about it.. and she was CHOSEN to be the last.. the FEAR PEAKED.. she got edgy, at some point feigned annoyance and blackmailed emotionally, showing hopelessness just to get the truth out.. More than hurt, disappointment the dark mist of fear had encapsulated her.. and one could see it in her eyes.. as she sat there lifeless.. a part of her had already died at the supposed comprehension that this was more serious than she had given herself courage to imagine.. she flickered for a minute as Manvi entered and sat down.. she urged her to talk.. the lines of I will resolve everything.. I promise were half hearted reassurance to HERSELF in the wake of the magnanimity... she got all the more angsty.. of the reaction.. waging a big storm that suddenly stopped as the word resonated in her psyche.. CANCER... BLOOD CANCER.. this was IT.. saying that her worst fears came true was an euphemism.. coz her worst  fears would have ended long before this reality.. 

COMFORTABLY NUMB.. she sat there.. as her brain had stopped processing any information.. till it DAWNED .. the BIG REVELATION.. the LIFE DEFINING MOMENT.. I generally dont cry.. but I shed a few tears as the fb played..  her whole life danced in front of her eyes.. and somewhere.. she SAW THE WHOLE ESSENCE.. she saw the PURPOSE of her being.. her upbringing from her childhood in that moment.. in that disgusting humor that life played with them since they were too young to understand.. her mother's voice played implying this was predestined.. that she HAD TO SHAPE UP to be THIS JEEVIKA.. coz one day she was meant to stare at this moment and take it up.. there was NO OTHER OPTION.. it was like she was trained all her life.. to face this very moment.. 

It was SURREAL when that comprehension came.. all she saw was  her little sister sobbing in front of her.. and she knew her purpose.. out of instinct in spite of the consuming numbness she wiped those tears and put a hand on her head- a sheltering hand.. a comforting hand.. her eyes still resonating DISBELIEF.. 

the rest was just an automated reaction as she resumed her duty.. her purpose.. of being the WALL of resilient force in her sister's life.. she soothed her sister from excess baggage she did not need to partake if life's humor wasn't bad enough.. the constant repetition of nothing would ever befall on you.. i wont let it.. was also a self assurance and banging it into her psyche..   

I simply loved how Viren could see through the plethora of phases she was in- beyond her words.. beyond her brave front.. although it wasnt the best point of a breakdown yet.. coz somewhere Jeevika hadnt come to terms with it and was in a certain denial.. I would have liked a simple closure to the scene where Viren is standing alone with her.. ideally he could have moved forward to approach her.. while she blocked access through her eyes and body language.. an editing glitch here.. 

the rest of the episode especially the song was an interlude.. it left zilch impact amidst the somber  tone just coz it was that consuming.. all through it.. my attention was focussed at Jeevika's lifeless eyes.. that still caught my notice by its recalcitrance of I HAVE TO COME TO TERMS .. just coz she had no time.. of performing her duty.. 

nikalanaa Khuld se aadam kaa sunate aaye hain lekin
bahut beaabaruu hokar tere kuuche se ham nikale 

(heard of humans emanating from the doors of heaven

but I walked out of your (destiny's) room digraced)

till the whole energy made her tired .. her frame couldnt hold it anymore.. and I absolutely love the Virat-jeevika bit where the whole interplay was soo poignant.. Virat's apt reading of it.. yet giving her the space to deal with it by herself coz it wasnt his place and also coz she had to do it by herself.. I liked how she still tried to reason with life's unpredictability.. but in the stubborn resolve that all laws are inapplicable when it comes to her lil baby.. 

the climax to me was APT in her tired frame walking to her room in isolation.. finally giving into the moment.. where she couldnt quite deal with how her honor of being had been threatened in a day's worth.. all the restlessness.. fear.. turmoil.. she bore from the time  she came to hear of Manvi's refusal to donate blood.. just de-robed at that point (the fbs werent even needed.. neither was the shower.. her eyes and body language would have sealed the deal) but the jitters playing with the shower knob.. trying hard.. her essence choking was extra-ordinary.. 

Eagerly awaiting her downpour in Viren's shelter.. Jeevika came a full circle in life today.. but she needs that assurance that she has an emotional shelter.. a protection somewhere too.. I have hopes from this scene.. fingers crossed.. 

If I didnt say it loud enough.. let me put it this way.. I see it as the director's credit to see his actor's USP and the director here used KDs USP - her eyes rather well as a canvas to paint his vision.. no lines needed.. silence spoke.. eyes reflected.. portrayed and REVEALED.. yet GUARDED.. today took EHM to another level.. 

Signing off..  

Insecurity and Individuality

One of the most priceless and poignant EHM epis.. on a mother and son.. mentor and protege.. insecurities and guilt, individuality and attachment.. but alas the people on the forum lack the depth to even grasp the whole concept forget digest it..


 in short if I had to point to one scene that summed the epi for me.. it was Viren walking out the door banging into a Swamini, holding a gift in hand.. a half tear in her eye.. disappointed, upset.. the exchange there before the words filtered out was priceless..

oh well I may just be the only one who is fascinated by the Swamini-Viren attachment.. a foster parent who has imbibed the convictions and honed the persona of this young boy.. who by his own inherent psyche and under the mentoring of his beloved Badi Maa grew up to be the man he is.. responsible, dutiful, fair, loving and successful. A lot of expectations ride on him and he knows it.. but the biggest in his life is that of his mentor.. his karmic mother.. 

I remember pointing out during Js bday epi how Swamini had made a sarcastic comment on Viren's thoughtlessness.. wrt not keeping the family's concern and his own safety in mind in a bout of romantic delirium to see his wife happy.. even then I saw her insecurity.. it was legit..today she just voiced it.. she invested her whole life in the upbringing of this child who came to belong to her.. Viren had been feeling guilty even before she found out.. it was a circumstantial goof up on his part.. but one neverthless.. and it HURT her to face her worst fear.. the distance that was cropping up inadvertently.. she respected his space after marriage.. she took his side such tht he cld spend time with his wife.. he always remained her prime focus.. in her thoughts.. thats habit to her.. but to even think she didnt feature in his when it mattered.. in this case it wasnt his PRIVATE LIFE.. it was a family matter.. where he in normal case wld keep her in his inner circle..

On the other hand..  I loved Viren's need for individual space ... it wasnt about Jeevika.. it wasnt about Manvi or Virat.. it was about him and his badi maa.. the fear that he couldnt help but invoke in her.. he was just upset with himself.. and oh I relate to it... as individualistic as I am... it didnt come as a surprise tht he dint hear a word of Jeevika.. although she did try to reach out to him.. but their relationship isnt at a point yet.. where they can breach that personal space.. he did share his emotions.. but when it came to his own fear.. dejection.. it was just too personal for him.. one day Jeevika may be a part of it.. but its too early now.. coz all they have shared till now is attraction, affection and an inherent understanding.. but it still progressed to a point where individuality, psyche and convictions are clearly shared and understood

on those grounds it was even more understandable that Jeevika got scared that Buaji thought she was coming between.. Quoting Viren.. it wasnt about a 3rd person.. no 3rd person can make an attachment weaker.. its always the 2 involved.. and thats the person who bears the brunt.. during the Manan episode he said it.. no one can actually be a cause.. and its repeatable here..

Swamini is hurting. .and its only Viren who can heal her.. coz HE is the cause.. her fear that she may lose him.. in fact even worse to her HE may lose HIMSELF.. the boy who grew up to be the archetype.. her beloved.. the family's pride and dream for the future.. a mother's investment..

Very realistic.. Such is life.. Loved Viren and Swamini and the JV tangents in the middle.. 

P.S. also realized tht JV didnt even really find time to wish each other happy new yr in all this.. and what a crappy new year for them..

WKFH- Waah kya family hain...

couldnt help quote our very own rocky singh.. to sum up the flavor of the week..  family fun.. antics and eccentricities.. goofy moments and FOREMOST.. Impeccable ACTING and screenplays.. Cant begin to express how satiating it is to see people who know how to emote.. and act.. just the right amount not more.. not less.. they make you involved in the process of story-telling where a lot of your own experiences come to mind.. and of course once again Sweta Tiwari took the cake.. for the bang on portrayal of the honest and brave Sweety ji.. can I say this is a role to die for.. I LOVE SWEETYJI.. and am glad this woman is chosen. .I heard a lot about her from mom during her saas bahu stint but was never bothered.. but now when I watch her.. I gush about her to mom and she concurs.. how sweety ji makes her relive a lot of her moments with us.. the trials and tribulations of a mother.. but respect Sweety ji's inherent guts and honesty.. what a transparent woman.. especially in the scene where she acknowledges to her kid's class about her mistake.. and  even in the aishwarya household.. Oh I loved that scene.. there was this endearing quality to Aishwarya.. and the way Sweetyji admits at how she made her want to learn to be a better parent.. to learn from her mistakes.. her sometimes myopic viewpoints.. that very moment I LOVED her character.. what is inspiring for me is her open mind.. to acknowledge that she goes overboard on her convictions at times.. but the willingness at being objective when it comes to critiquing herself for her children's sake.. WOW Sweetyji take a bow..

Apart from that I almost cried.. oh well not almost.. cried through Ginny's performance and Sweeti's amazement and emotions overflowing through it.. culminating in the victory of a mother seeing her child win it.. live her dream.. and praying that she was given another chance.. to redeem her mistake.. a honest one nevertheless.. but no one can take it away from Lucky jee .. a close second in his portrayal Vivek Mushran.. oh how am loving this couple.. their little hug when Ginny wins it. .and their pride as parents..Binis if you reading.. a sig/avi is a MUST of tht moment.. esp Sweety, lucky rocky hug in the audience.. so heartwarming that was.. as a family.. sigh..

besides that the namunagiri.. of each family member.. mostly nanaji and Jeet scenes were a scream.. ROFL.. at Jeet's OCD .. exactly how dukhi is tht character.. and tensed and nervous.. everytime papaji went ab main tujhe kaise samjhaon.. ek baat teri samajh mein nahi ati.. papaji actor is actor no.3 who gets my due.. oh man he defo reminds me of the good old DD days.. where acting was all about ease and body language. .the way these 3 actors fit into the punjabi mould you would think they were born these characters.. loved papaji- dolly and jeet moment where jeet honestly goofs up by spilling the beans about the letter.. and also the papaji- pinky jeet bit.. where he chides them about overreacting.. and the standing pairi pona.. LOL..

if these weren't enough the latter half of the week vivek mushran was the king of comic timing.. whether it was his open mouth holding onto dear chicken tikka on tht fork.. or his monologue with the dried rose and dil dhundta hain phir kabhi moment of rediscovering love with sweetyji and his reassurance of how middle aged ppl are also entitled to romantic dates.. only to go stare in the face of worse than zeher bland food.. complementing moment was sweety ji's draining off the oil while talking to pinky who wonders how her sis always ends up talking about herself.. rofl.. cherry on the cake moment was defo the last scene with luckyji wanting to search for the romantic sweetijy amidst the saansaarik mother.. who was on her rant.. ROFL.. and the beragarag ho afer finding out the kids are at home.. ROFL.. epic comic timing that is.. am glad such actors are given their due and scope to deliver amidst throngs of mediocre calibres floating all across tv..

really how many actors my age are even believable in their portrayal.. most look like walking zombies.. or over-emoting nymphs .. precisely the reason I gushed and praised KT so much on the kheer chronicle and other goofy romance scenes.. its rather refreshing to see there's some rare young guys/ girls my age who can justify the actor tag.. wont get into the details of his USP.. u guys must have read it already.. but am loving his restrained comic timing.. defo reminded me of good old Amol Palekar and his dry wit in some cases.. LOL..

enough ranting.. leaving you all with the song of the week.. Lady A - an alumni of our uni and grammy winners.. with this very song that got us a recognition on friday evening in a live music bar.. an impromptu karaoke jig delivered by me and some fellow science buffs just gathered over drinks.. and celebrating the graduation of fellow biochemist seniors.. Tested my vocal skills after a very long time.. and glad to know I havent completely lost it.. here goes.. Lady A all the way..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg&ob=av2e

Week's viewing worth..

thanks to my randomizing.. I ended up with way too many shows in my kitty.. initially I thought this week would be slow what with boss gone for a week.. and thanksgiving hols.. but as it turned out it was hectic.. not just at work.. but thanksgiving dinners and midnight shopping on black friday.. and to top it.. havent been in the best of my health..

so I decided to drop one show.. and BB faced the axe from my list.. as its bloody long.. LOL.. as for EHM its pretty much 20 mins daily.. and one can ff portions too.. loads of wedding stuff.. naach gana etc.. light moments.. between siblings.. and family.. my fave was defo monday with the continuation of the drunk scene.. where Viren is for a change caught by beeji.. and not another hit n miss.. the guy's subtle comic timing is impeccable.. defo one of the better young actors I have seen in a while.. his 'pakad liya yaar' to the pairi pouna beeji inside the closet.. were epic looks.. classic expression before the barrage of main aisa hu nahi.. bas jeevika ki yaad a rahi thi to socha mil loon.. .ROFL..the reaction it brought from each member was funny each time.. finally beeji completing his line and he goes wow how did she know.. and anju mahendru's classic look.. REALLY NOW? and to top it.. the guy was still in character... using his default lawyer mode analysis.. with the idk why i took such a risk of climbing up the ladder,etc.. LOL little things like these made it good comedy.. the show defo has cheeky comic scenes and lines.. esp d ones given to manvi.. The girl has tremendous spontaneity but I feel she needs to work on the pauses.. some of the punches are lost in her pace of delivery sometimes..

talking of comic timing.. I am loving the easy portrayal of Swetha's sweety ji and Vivek Mushran's lucky ji in parvarish.. the first epi was a bit disappointing.. in fact I just caught up on the other epis.. and it slowly settles down.. the mood of the show.. its a good package for sure... some interesting things have been incorporated.. Sweety's controlling behavior is  more convincing than Pinky's mom-friend act.. that comes across as pseudo.. more so coz Rupali's portrayal reminds me of Mohnisha Sarabhai a lot.. like thts how mohnisha wld react to teenage daughter.. Vishal Singh's jeet is defo the more grounded mature parents.. among all 4.. besides the really urbane and objective Dolly... who sadly is the one who decided to go childless.. although she is more close to understanding the psyche of kids now..

but have to give it to the kids.. from rewa's embarassed by mother teenage tantrum.. stuck in a mess situation to rashi's oversmart , too big for any shoes act.. are both endearing.. Ginny is defo the surprise package..I did write after epi1 tht sweety's kids wld be more prone to hiding stuff and turns out exactly that.. Ginny's demure act at home vs strong rockstar personality at school is almost split personality.. LOL.. amidst all the drama the clueless rocky is defo the funniest.. his siren ringtone with danger amma cracked me up.. reminded me of my bro's friends who had similar adjectives for their mom.. LOL.. through the end of the 1st week.. one thing jumped out.. the kids were smart enough to handle or resolve their school mess... while the parents and grandparents ended up making a royal soup out of the situation.. Jeet being an exception.. so on week one's synopsis.. its the parent's who need growing up and parenting lessons as of now.. but then again that's the premise of the show.. Munira word of caution.. keep yer kids away.. you may not find much to learn from Sweety or Pinky.. but they wld defo pick up from Ginny and Rashi.. LOL..

Last but not the least.. wld hopefully find some time, motivation, and that piece of mind.. to write the next part of the SS.. LOL.. its been crazy off late.. and I am sorta scared m losing touch with the vintage MB feel... hopefully I can write enough to complete the SS.. should be 3 more updates.. or 4..